New Beginnings

Change...It is hard, especially for me.

We moved.

By choice, no...not exactly. We tried to modify our loan and to say the least it didn't work out as planned. We short sold our home. It is still in the process but we found a home that works for us, that is a good option for us, and Karter can go to the same school, so we moved. Change is hard, but I believe there is a plan in the works. What it is we just don't know yet. It's a new beginning.

We moved to a townhouse and have close to the same amount of living space as the other, minus my crawlspace (which stored ALOT of stuff). I dejunked, I cried, I watched my memories moved, sold and now forced to start new memories somewhere else with my family and new found friends, strangers and new faces. I miss the old ones, terribly. But I will, along with Scott and my boys move forward. I have to, we have no choice. It is hard, I think much harder for me than for them.

The day we moved I held it together. We had alot of good friends and neighbors helping us. We have a brother in law that owns a trucking company and let us use a huge semi to haul our memories and furniture in. When we got to the new place we unloaded. Karter was running around with a lifelong friend and they snuck in our clubhouse. They played on the treadmill. Karter turned it up way faster than he knew how to control and got hurt. It threw him off. He bloody his lips, scarred his back, shoulder and neck. He is ok now, but he cried. I cried with him. He wanted to go home, not this home. It was hard. It was a new beginning.

Then later that night after everyone was gone and it was sinking in this was the new home and where we were going to live, sleep and eat we realized we hadn't ate. We gathered the kids and headed for McDonald's. The boys played in the playland. They were laughing and having fun, it felt normal. Until Kandon tripped going in the playland. He hit his face right on the entryway and Scott ran faster than me to realize he bloodied both his nostrils. Kandon cried. We got it stopped and came home, our new home. I got him changed and ready for bed. When his nose started to bleed again. I took him in the bathroom and Scott came in and was helping me get it stopped and calmed down. When Kandon cried he wanted to go home. I cried. Scott cried. Then Scott said this is our home now and Kandon said "no I don't want to live at the townhouse, I want to go home to our other house". It was hard. It was a new beginning.

The next day my sweet new neighbor and her husband brought us homemade salsa. It was another new beginning with a new face and stranger that I know will end up being close friends. It got a little easier.

Then I went and cleaned the old house. There were so many friends (neighbors) that came and helped, even girls and young women that I had taught in that ward. I cried. But it was so thoughtful and and I realize how much we are loved. It was hard.

It's still hard.

I had a yard sale at the old house Saturday and I sold so much of our stuff. Things I didn't want anymore and things I had to depart with, but it was still hard. It was a new beginning. And when it was all over, I cried. Scott hugged me and told me it is going to be ok. That it is just a house. I know that it is but the bottom line is, it was "our house", it was "our home" and to watch everything unfold, it's hard. It's empty, were gone, it's just a house, but it will always be our "first home". It will be hard but it has its moments of being a little easier. It continues to get easier everyday, but it's still hard.

But now when my boys ask to go home, it's our new home they ask for.

It's a new beginning...