New Beginnings

Change...It is hard, especially for me.

We moved.

By choice, no...not exactly. We tried to modify our loan and to say the least it didn't work out as planned. We short sold our home. It is still in the process but we found a home that works for us, that is a good option for us, and Karter can go to the same school, so we moved. Change is hard, but I believe there is a plan in the works. What it is we just don't know yet. It's a new beginning.

We moved to a townhouse and have close to the same amount of living space as the other, minus my crawlspace (which stored ALOT of stuff). I dejunked, I cried, I watched my memories moved, sold and now forced to start new memories somewhere else with my family and new found friends, strangers and new faces. I miss the old ones, terribly. But I will, along with Scott and my boys move forward. I have to, we have no choice. It is hard, I think much harder for me than for them.

The day we moved I held it together. We had alot of good friends and neighbors helping us. We have a brother in law that owns a trucking company and let us use a huge semi to haul our memories and furniture in. When we got to the new place we unloaded. Karter was running around with a lifelong friend and they snuck in our clubhouse. They played on the treadmill. Karter turned it up way faster than he knew how to control and got hurt. It threw him off. He bloody his lips, scarred his back, shoulder and neck. He is ok now, but he cried. I cried with him. He wanted to go home, not this home. It was hard. It was a new beginning.

Then later that night after everyone was gone and it was sinking in this was the new home and where we were going to live, sleep and eat we realized we hadn't ate. We gathered the kids and headed for McDonald's. The boys played in the playland. They were laughing and having fun, it felt normal. Until Kandon tripped going in the playland. He hit his face right on the entryway and Scott ran faster than me to realize he bloodied both his nostrils. Kandon cried. We got it stopped and came home, our new home. I got him changed and ready for bed. When his nose started to bleed again. I took him in the bathroom and Scott came in and was helping me get it stopped and calmed down. When Kandon cried he wanted to go home. I cried. Scott cried. Then Scott said this is our home now and Kandon said "no I don't want to live at the townhouse, I want to go home to our other house". It was hard. It was a new beginning.

The next day my sweet new neighbor and her husband brought us homemade salsa. It was another new beginning with a new face and stranger that I know will end up being close friends. It got a little easier.

Then I went and cleaned the old house. There were so many friends (neighbors) that came and helped, even girls and young women that I had taught in that ward. I cried. But it was so thoughtful and and I realize how much we are loved. It was hard.

It's still hard.

I had a yard sale at the old house Saturday and I sold so much of our stuff. Things I didn't want anymore and things I had to depart with, but it was still hard. It was a new beginning. And when it was all over, I cried. Scott hugged me and told me it is going to be ok. That it is just a house. I know that it is but the bottom line is, it was "our house", it was "our home" and to watch everything unfold, it's hard. It's empty, were gone, it's just a house, but it will always be our "first home". It will be hard but it has its moments of being a little easier. It continues to get easier everyday, but it's still hard.

But now when my boys ask to go home, it's our new home they ask for.

It's a new beginning...

Our Home...Our Story.

Here is the question you've all been waiting for and wondering, what our BOMBSHELL is all about? Our home of 7 years is up for sale. The home we built from the ground up, the yard, oh the yard. For those of you that know it was really ugly at first now it's one of the greenest on the block, it is the home we have brought both our boys home to from the hospital after they were born, the home we have raised our family in. Why? It is so complicated, embarrassing and heart wrenching...too much that I cannot explain other than to those of you that are family, close friends or neighbors invited to our blog, not Facebook.
I ask you to PLEASE not share with others, this is our life and our home and we want to share it with who WE want to share it with, no one else.

December of 2009 we heard about loan modifications and were referred to Modify Utah. We paid them $2995.00 to modify our home loan and help a financial situation that not many knew about. With Scott in school and me working part time money was hard to come by and difficult to stretch. They told us we should have qualified easily and we would have to do a "trial modification" for about 6 months with our mortgage lender. Let me explain what a "trial" modification does...basically it reduces your monthly home payment so you can pay down other debts to better your debt to income ratio. Modify Utah got a "trial" modification granted by our lender and we started making about half payments on our home loan January 2010. Come July it was to be all said and done. June rolled around and I started calling Modify Utah, only to never have my phone calls returned. I thought no big deal our "trial" doesn't end til July. Come July I made the last "trial" payment and called Modify Utah again, again, again and again. Never to have those phone calls returned. Then I lost my job, a company I had worked for for almost 9 1/2 years! By the beginning of August we received a statement from our lender requesting a "balloon" payment of almost $8000.00!! What!!? I thought Modify Utah would do there job, this was new to us. We didn't know what to do. So I called our lender and told them we had paid a company to modify our loan and for some reason it wasn't done. At that time our lender told us it was past the time they needed additional information from us and forms. I asked what we needed to do, they stated we had to start a "trial" modification over again. Ok, so that's what we did. We sent them everything they requested and were granted another "trial" modification. It started in October, again about half of our original home payment. We started working on paying other debts down. In the mean time I requested a refund from Modify Utah, they did have a money back guarantee. Only to be denied because I was told we received a "trial" modification and that is all they were required to do. Are you kidding me!! I don't go to a grocery store and pay for all my groceries and only go home with half of them!! They only did half their job!! I was completely and absolutely upset!! Later they closed their doors and are no longer in business, go figure. Come January 2011 our "trial" was up with our lender and it was time they could "choose" to finalize our modification. I made that last "trial" payment and 2 days later I sent all the forms and information they requested to finalize this modification. I called 2 days after it was faxed making sure they received it, they verified they did. I was told the guy that had our file would overlook everything and would call if anything else was needed. Now if there was one thing I learned from the first time, it was to keep calling at least once a week and following up. Anyone that really knows me, knows that I am good at following up and double checking everything. I tried calling this guy with our file 2 times, I received a voicemail back from him one time and called him back another 2 or 3 times. Wednesday Feb 9th I received a call from a lady requested 2 additional forms, she asked when I could fax it by and I told her Friday Feb. 11th. Come Friday Feb. 11th I received another call from a man this time requested $12,750.00 another "balloon" payment. I explained how we were doing a modification and were at the end of our trial and that I was faxing the additional information they requested 2 days ago that day. He then told me our "trial" modification was DENIED!!! What!!? Are you kidding me, again!!? No, he wasn't kidding me! But get this...IT WAS DENIED THE FRIDAY BEFORE!! Yes that's right Feb. 4th!!! Before the lady had called and requested the additional information! She called me after the fact!! I was extremely upset and started crying. We were denied because they didn't receive the additional information they were requesting, something I didn't know about until after the fact. I asked what we needed to do and he said we would have to start all over again and start another "trial". Ummm, no I don't think so!! I asked to speak to a supervisor and while speaking with him he told me I needed to call the guy with my file, the guy I have already called 4-5 times! I told him I called him numerous times but he said he was the only one that could over-ride this denial and so that is what I did. I called, and called and called a total of probably 9-10 times just on Friday the 11th! But I have still NOT received a call back from him. I spoke with Scott and he said if he didn't call me back on Friday it was cut and dry, we would be putting "our" home up for short sale! So that is what we are doing. We are to far behind since we have been making all these half payments from these "trial" modifications and it is just not worth it. We owe more than our home is worth. Therefore it is easier to short sale and wait 2-3 years to buy another home. Then we will be able to be on the upside and have equity in our future home again. Something we haven't had in this one for quite some time. We had refinanced back when we were going to sale before by owner and they recommended we roll some of our debts into our loan so our debt to income ratio would be better. Well that was right before the economy dropped making it impossible to sell our home.

So no, Scott hasn't got another job yet. But he has currently applied for 5 different possibilities. We are hoping and praying one works out and ask that you do too. Then we will know where we may end up for the next few years til were able to buy again. If one doesn't work out we will be looking to rent somewhere close so Karter can stay in the same school and keep the same friends and a couple of these potential jobs would still offer that. As of right now we will stay here until we get an offer and our bank accepts it and we have to move. Our realtor said to expect at least 5-7 months (with our lender) if not more. The good news is we will be here at least through the summer and possibly longer. I have cried many tears, lost sleep and wondered why. Scott has been really quiet and I'm sure he feels like a failure, but I know and he should know HE IS NOT!! We didn't ask for this, no one does. Last Friday our life changed, for a reason I believe we still don't know. But I have faith knowing better things lie ahead. This has been one of the hardest most trying decisions we've ever had to make. We love our neighbors and ward. We have made so many life long friends! Hopefully moving, wherever that may be doesn't change that. I have realized it is just a house, our family makes it a home. So there you have it our BOMBSHELL, called life!!

Part of Our November

These are some pictures I took down by Utah Lake close to our house. I really love them!!

Kandon LOVES "Yo Gabba Gabba" and I heard they were going to a toy store in the Riverwood's so I knew I had to take him. Bridget and Emery came too, Em wasn't too sure what she thought of them up close. Kandon loves them and would have hugged and stood by them all day!!

House Fire

You are probably wondering why I am posting about this house fire? The reason is this. This home is within our stake and close to where I live. I was taking the boys to go somewhere and when I was backing out of my garage, I saw smoke. We went to where it was and this is what we found. A home, burning...and worst of all the owners came home to this! I stopped and me and the the boys watched it as firefighters tried to save their home, but were unsucessful. It broke my heart! I can't image coming home to a absolute loss, with nothing but the clothes on your back! It was a good eye opener for Karter, a boy that is a pyro and loves to play with lighters. That is why I stayed and let him watch as long as I did. We didn't end up going where we were originally headed. I came home afterwaeds and couldn't stop thinking about it. I worried and made myself sick thinking...did this family have kids? Is the owners in need? How can I help? Scott told me rather than sit here and do nothing...go. Go ask what you can do to be of assistance. So I went and found out it is a spanish couples home, they have no kids and pretty much they now have nothing! I told them and their neighbor I would do what I could to help. I came home and posted on my facebook and had our ward send out a email for a home and clothing drive. I NEVER thouht i'd get all that I did. But it was overwhelming with the outpouring love that people did to help, someone they didn't even know. I have never done something like this before. But to see their reaction was worth every minute of it! I did something and whether they could use all that I collected was up to them. But I know they used and needed most of it.

Now the only thing that sits on their lot is a cement pad of where this home use to sit. But I will end with one last story. When the couple was sorting through all the rubble and charred stuff in their home. The husband came across a ring box, he wasn't able to wear his wedding ring because he was a handy man and did construction and was afraid of getting hurt by wearing it. When he opened the box where his ring sat, it was perfect, completely untouched by the fire. It was the only thing in the home what wasn't damaged! I loved that they shared that story with me and in return I can share it with you.

The Last Month...Or So!!?

We haven't had new family pictures since Kandon was about 1 1/2 old now he is almost 3! While we were in Arizona a month ago for Scott's brother's wedding we had my sweet sister in law Shawna take a few with my camera. I "love" them to pieces and think they turned out great.June 22nd just two days after we came home from Arizona I had major arm surgery on my elbow. I had Ulner Nerve Disfunction, it caused me achy pains up my arm to the point I would wake up almost crying. About a week before my surgery I woke up my arm dead and painful as could be and for the life of me could not move it! What they do in the surgery is make a incision along the elbow and take the ulner nerve and move it to the inside of your arm. I can tell now the pain is gone I am just still healing from the pain due to the surgery itself. I was in a splint and sling for 10 days. Now I am in and out of a sling and splint and I can tell where the nerve is at now cause it is so TIGHT! The doctor said within 12 weeks I will be back to 100% and my 12 week mark is September 14! Whoo hoo I can't wait until I can wake up and be able to move my arm normal again!

Here are some pics of my arm but be fair warned I have been told there are GROSS (I personally don't think so) but if you have a weak stomach don't look at them.
Then on July 3rd we were leaving to go to Stadium of Fire and right before walking out the door Kandon fell off my step hit my bookshelf right inbetween his eyes on his nose. It was bleeding like crazy and luckily we got it to stop and ended up being like 20 mins late. The next day he had black eyes underneath by the day after that it was on top and bottom. Poor kid luckily they healed quickly and you can hardly tell now.
Then Scott decided he wanted a bigger truck. Not necessarily bigger but a bigger motor and four-wheel drive, that's right his old truck was not. He put his on ksl on July 5th on a monday night around 5pm and by 8pm it was sold. We were going to get a Nissan Titan and found out they had bad reviews so we looked at the Toyota Tundra's. He ended up getting one of those on July 12th and he "loves" it!! It's super nice and I'm glad we got it. Plus we had a great down payment and have only $150 truck payment, can't complain since its our only car payment.
Then just 2 days later, July 14th my boss called me and fired me...while on medical leave for my arm. Why...I have no idea other than she said they are short staffed and had to fill my position. I have been there 9 1/2 years and it was totally unexpected. It came as a HUGE shock!! I was not released to go back until I had full movement of my arm and I was suppose to go back on August 4th, guess she couldn't wait. I felt many different emotions...anger, confusion, sadness, and peace. I still feel peace...my boss was often difficult to work for. I don't need the money, since I was part time I didn't make much after paying for our insurance. So the worst part of it is the insurance and as of July 31st we have none. My kids should qualify for chip and hopefully Scott gets a job, soon!! I will no longer be working here....
One of the worst things that's happened besides all I've listed is I was backing out of my garage July 21st forgetting that my hatch was opened on my MDX because I was upset about Karter loosing my itouch (which we found later). I hit the trim of my garage breaking my window, tearing the wiper apart and causing $2814 worth of damage...that's right I said $2814!!
Luckily I can say I have a $500 deductible so that's our portion, I guess that's the upside of it.
I hope this next month goes better for us...or year for that matter!

Karter will be starting first grade which brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. As of right now and hopefully for good I will be a stay at home mom!! Something I have prayed and wanted for a LONG, LONG, LONG time!!

Craziness and Fun at Work

Who knew you can have fun at work? We have an awards ceremony once a year and nominate other employees for certain categories. I won "most hospital spirit" for the 2nd year in a row!
We got asked to sing. We didn't want to be serious so we were the "Spice Girls featuring Old Spice" we sang Shania Twain's song "I feel like a woman." We had everyone laughing and some crying from laughing so hard. I'll admit it was hilarious!!
Then Neil Diamond and his brother Doug performed. Oh my heck I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. It was the funniest thing ever! Then Neil went and sat by his wife and had her pet his chest hair....so funny! We all had tears in our eyes from laughing!
I love the people I work with. They are so fun and make it fun to go to work each day. I couldn't image working with anyone else!!

Bronson's Miracle

If you have not heard about this little boy's story watch this!! He is truly a miracle! I cried and cried so be prepared with a box of kleenex!! They also have a blog its http://stakerzxposed.blogspot.com

What in the Heck!!

Ok so call me the odd one but I have NEVER seen one of these before and was randomly driving by this and had to take a picture!! Luckily I had my camera!! I thought it was awesome!!!

Football

Scott got a call the day Provo High was playing Timpview asking him to bring his bike to help support Provo High for the start of the game and half time show. Of course Scott came home polished it up and off he went!! It was lots of fun to hear all the bikes...too bad Provo High lost by 64-7!! Better luck next year right? I told Scott if we still live here when our boys play ball we might have to be traitors and let them go to Timpview...lol

Somewhere over the Rainbow...

The other day I just happened to look out the window and this is what I saw...
I usually hate the rain and thunderstorms...but this day for some reason I didn't mind. Maybe it was the beautiful rainbow! We have had nothing but thunderstorms off and on everyday for the last week. It seems like it rains just enough to mess up a good day!! So i'll end in saying...maybe somewhere over the rainbow there is a sunny day!!

AMAZING!!

This is one of my new Fav's!! It is long but WELL worth watching!! It is AMAZING!! These guys are from Utah and SUPER Talented. This video has had over 6 million hits in less than 6 weeks!!!